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双语幽默两则

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发表于 2009-8-25 14:51:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Gardening Gloves  
3 @' P% y8 i6 ^' p8 g0 o/ _For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you'll notice that my hands are bare."  
: S" d' I+ B: u/ O& rLater that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves. * R/ Y! M9 q. ]8 d$ t2 n/ J
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园艺手套
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几个月以来,我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指,因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天,我正在干园艺活时,丈夫问我想要什么礼物。我举起双手说:“嗯,你肯定看到了,我的两手都是光光的。”  那天晚上,我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的礼物。“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看:里面包着一双园艺手套。; h7 v4 I, V8 o' J. c) }, w
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What's your name?  
1 o0 g+ G5 s' e/ t7 VA very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:"My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together"  
8 J9 J, Z, J; g8 H) m1 x; @, NThen he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name."Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,"He said,"and don't forget to call me 'sir'".  4 Y4 Y2 ]4 j- E, }4 C; |$ g7 y
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,"When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier?"  : x+ K, V* V0 w' t& i4 H/ B
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied."My name is Stonebreaker,sir"he said nervously.  
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你叫什么名字?, _" J- F, `( _3 _: u: }

) v- Z6 q5 l# c8 `& k有一位很严厉的军官在对一群交由他训练的新兵训话。他以前从没见过这群新兵,于是他开始自我介绍:“我的名字叫Stone(石头),事实上,我甚至比石头更强硬。这就是我为什么要告诉你们我名字的原因。不要试图对我玩什么花招,这样我们就能很好相处了。”  
; _) o9 y- i3 ^  u) O- v接着他开始走到每个士兵前面问他们的名字。“说大声点,让每个人都能听清楚。另外,不要忘记称呼我为长官。”他说。
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每个士兵都对他说了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前时,这个士兵保持着沉默。于是Stone队长对他喊叫,“当我问你问题的时候,要回答!我再问一遍,你的名字,士兵?”  
1 m6 {/ T8 R5 ^" _3 k' k% v! A! }那个新兵很不高兴,但最后他回答了。“我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石机),长官。”他紧张的说。
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