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双语幽默两则

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发表于 2009-8-25 14:51:52 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Gardening Gloves  ; u" m- ]( K( e
For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you'll notice that my hands are bare."  
! s/ [+ O8 K; i" U5 MLater that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves. ' a2 n- \4 G: ?$ ^9 d: V+ L* q
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园艺手套
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$ r9 \! @" o  y) w2 a几个月以来,我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的结婚戒指,因为我对黄金有点过敏。生日那天,我正在干园艺活时,丈夫问我想要什么礼物。我举起双手说:“嗯,你肯定看到了,我的两手都是光光的。”  那天晚上,我满怀热情地拆开了丈夫送的礼物。“生日快乐!”他说。我打开一看:里面包着一双园艺手套。0 |" X9 w0 ?$ R0 i

* P8 X+ J4 z: N7 @) t; j; \. x# T) D5 xWhat's your name?  0 C1 f7 n& V# L  G
A very strict officer was talking to some new soldiers whom he had to train.He had never seen them before,so he began:"My name is Stone,and I'm even harder than stone,so do what I tell you or there'll be trouble.Don't try any tricks with me ,and then we'll get on well together"  
' c" k# }* }+ o( ^1 rThen he went to each soldier one after another and asked him his name."Speak loudly so that everyone can hear you clearly,"He said,"and don't forget to call me 'sir'".  - }" E6 x% m+ ~$ T
Each soldier told him his name,unitl he came to the last one.This man remained silent,and so Captain Stone shouted at him,"When I ask you a question,answer it!I'll ask you again:What's you name,soldier?"  & H! K* [. k$ C4 M  d
The soldier was very unhappy,but at last he replied."My name is Stonebreaker,sir"he said nervously.  
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2 K( c: P: H, r; r$ }3 w你叫什么名字?
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% `5 S, ^# p2 ^, W有一位很严厉的军官在对一群交由他训练的新兵训话。他以前从没见过这群新兵,于是他开始自我介绍:“我的名字叫Stone(石头),事实上,我甚至比石头更强硬。这就是我为什么要告诉你们我名字的原因。不要试图对我玩什么花招,这样我们就能很好相处了。”  
+ Z7 ?. B! f1 H6 Z接着他开始走到每个士兵前面问他们的名字。“说大声点,让每个人都能听清楚。另外,不要忘记称呼我为长官。”他说。, {' {- Q4 m1 i' H6 c6 p8 F

! }7 q' t+ ^* n+ M9 z每个士兵都对他说了自已的名字。他走到最后一位士兵面前时,这个士兵保持着沉默。于是Stone队长对他喊叫,“当我问你问题的时候,要回答!我再问一遍,你的名字,士兵?”  0 c+ e( o" n0 A* a- y9 D( U  i8 c
那个新兵很不高兴,但最后他回答了。“我的名字是Stonebreaker(碎石机),长官。”他紧张的说。
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